There is a very important lesson in life that I believe everyone learns at one time or another: You can never please everyone.
This lesson is especially important in wedding planning. As I’m sure you can guess, there are many thoughts and opinions in wedding planning, many may be unsolicited. In the end, you must be okay with being a little selfish when you’re wedding planning. This is a day meant for you and your partner, and nobody else. Do not get me wrong, if someone is helping contribute financially or you really really want your best friend’s opinion on everything, that is totally fine! As I said, this is YOUR day. However, it can be hard to drown out the background noise sometimes and focus on what you want. Let me tell you a story of me trying to people please during wedding planning.
I got engaged on July 17, 2021. I will start asking my bridesmaids to be in the wedding on February 25, 2022. Yes, it has taken me 7 months to solidify my side of the bridal party. Please don’t take this next sentence as bragging, but I have a lot of people that I really care about in my life. In my mind, I either had to include them as bridesmaids in my wedding, or they would think I didn’t care about them. So, at one point in my decision-making process I had 17 bridesmaids on my list. Yes, one-seven. After a long talk with my fiancé and (soon-to-be) matron of honor, this was way too many. The problem was, I love and value these 17 people more than anything and I want them to feel special on my wedding day.
Over the 7 months after getting engaged, I agonized over this decision. Choosing and asking your bridesmaids (or whoever you choose to have stand by your side on your day) should be nothing but exciting, but I was making myself sick over it. Finally, the solution hit me, and I was able to solve my problems. (I will post my solution after it has been finalized!)
While I am very happy with what I came up with, I am still nervous that some people will be upset with me. I really hope that this is not the case, because these people mean so much to me and I couldn’t imagine not having them in a special role at my wedding.
At the end of the day, what is important is that I found small ways to incorporate those I love in my wedding, and hopefully it’ll make some of them happy, too! While it seems like it all worked out, the lesson of “you can never please everyone” has been thrown at me countless times since July 17. People, namely my mom and fiancé, have said this phrase a combined roughly 100 times. Though, this is easier said than believed.
Until this very minute, I have had anxiety over the possibility of hurting the feelings of those I love. However, I keep reminding myself of three things: these people I love will be there for me no matter what, it is okay to be selfish planning my wedding, and I can never please everyone.
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